Friday, July 27, 2012

Hero Hop and Giveaway!!!!

I've got another hop starting today and another GIVEAWAY!!! Whoo-hoo!

 Are you ready to hear what your favorite romance heroes have to say? Well, we authors are ready to share our hunky heroes! Over 100 Authors and Bloggers will share their favorite things about romance heroes, a character post from them, and what we love about romance and men in general.

And while we do that, we are EACH doing a giveaway. Yep. There will be over 100 giveaways on each blog hosted by that Author or Blogger.

But that's not all....

We have THREE grand prizes. You as a reader can go to EACH blog and comment with your email address and be entered to win. Yep, you can enter over 100 times!

Now what are those prizes?

1st Grand Prize: A Kindle Fire or Nook Tablet
2nd Grand Prize: A $50 Amazon or B&N Gift Card
3rd Grand Prize: The following Swag Pack!

And my prize will be my entire backlist of e-books (not including my new release, Destiny Bewitched) and a $5 gift card to amazon or B&N!!! Be sure to fill out the rafflecopter below AND leave a comment with your favorite book hero or character trait to enter to win the grand prize. Remember to leave your email address too!!!

Good luck everyone and have fun!

Women love a hot, alpha male in their romance books, right? We want them well-built and well-hung, brave, protective, the type to ride in on their noble steed and save the day.

In the paranormal romance genre especially, women like the quintessential alpha male. Overprotective, possessive, arrogant, sometimes overbearing, usually self-confident. A swoon-worthy, cocky, smoldering wall of muscle with a thick head of hair, soulful eyes, and lickable lips.

I’m all for that sexilicious hero. But let’s look deeper.

For me, self-confidence is important. Knowing who he is, strengths and weaknesses, and having a healthy view of them. For an alpha, it comes down to leadership. A good leader uplifts those around him. He earns their respect and trust instead of demanding it. He rallies supporters, he doesn't bully them. He takes care of those under his care, putting their welfare above his own. He can mete out judgment and swift punishment ruthlessly as well as gentle kisses to those he loves.

In my opinion, there is nothing hotter than a man who loves his kids. Loyalty, responsibility, kindness. A family man who loves his woman with everything he’s got is the ultimate picture of sexiness.

So what part of original alpha list did I keep in Geo, my alpha hero from Destiny Bewitched?

The possessiveness and protectiveness of course! That's the good part of an alpha, right ladies? You want your man to want you and only you! You want him to stand up for you at any cost. And even if you're capable of kicking some ass on your own (yeah, I had a green belt in Tae Kwon Do, I get it), you still want your man to want to kick some ass for you!

I hope you’ll fall in love with Geo, just like the heroine Samantha does in Destiny Bewitched. Take a chance on my book and I don’t think you’ll regret it.

Just for fun, here's my list of favorite PNR heroes:

1. Jericho Barrons from The Fever series
2. Bones from the Night Huntress series
3. Curran from the Kate Daniels series
4. Any Lychan from Kresley Cole's IAD - especially Bowen!
5. And I have to mention my all-time favorite even though it's technically not a PNR - Jamie Fraser from The Outlander series

Now your turn. What makes a good alpha hero for you? Who are your favorite fictional heroes?

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Sunday, July 22, 2012


I'm having the worst. writers block. ever.

So bad that I've composed a writers suicide note - no, not killing myself, just my inner muse who's doing a sucky ass job - that I'm posting for my contribution day at Nights of Passion on Tuesday. 

In honor of my god-awful writers block, you get a depressing six sentences from my work-in-not-progress. *sigh*

They say the screams could be heard a mile away from the ominous fortress. His mind was strong. It took longer than anticipated to break it. But Marwolaeth Du was known for far worse than breaking the will of strong men.

After many long months, the man who woke children in the night with his terrified pleas, came out of Marwolaeth Du a changed man. A man with a soul as stained as the fresh ink on his skin.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

BDSM Blog Hop Winner!!!!

Thank you to those who joined in the BDSM Unleashed Blog Hop!!! It was a great event and hopefully lured some of you into checking out my erotic romance 31 Flavors of Kink ;)

But there can only be one winner and this time its...

Chelsea Foust

I'll be in touch soon. And remember to check back often for more blog hops and giveaways! Next one starts next week!!!

Friday, July 20, 2012

Movie Review - Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter

***Re-posted from Nights of Passion blog

Yes, it’s that time again. Another awesome movie review by yours truly. Today I’m reviewing the historical gem, Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter.

I wasn’t sure what to think of this movie going in. Hubby really wanted to see it and I’m game for any vampire movie plus I figured it’d be a good one to review for my loyal and devoted fans (gifts are always welcomed and encouraged, btw). So here’s the low down on Mr. Kick-ass President.

Plot: We start off seeing Little Abe in his small village when slave traders come by and take his friend Will’s dad. Will starts getting beaten by a trader for trying to save his dad then little Abe jumps in front and tries to stop it. Thus begins Abe’s hatred of slavery. Watching his mother die from a vampire bite fuels a vengeful rage inside him that predictably lasts the whole movie until justice is served, cold, on a silver platter, with a silver bullet in its head, then burned because you can never be too careful.

As soon as he comes of age, he goes looking for the man responsible for his mother’s death and tries to kill him. Like all young cocky men filled with hate, he fucks it up. And it doesn’t help that his nemesis is a vampire. But these aren’t cute sparkly vampires that make you want to stroke their fangs. They’re not even dangerous ones that still have that sexy I’d-like-to-fuck-you-cause-I-wanna-know-if-I’ll-survive-it side. These vampires eat True Blood vampires for breakfast. And not like the wimpy vampires like Jessica and Bill. But Eric and Russell Edgington, and yeah, throw in Alcide too. Fangs is a gross understatement. Piranha teeth is more accurate. Seriously, they don’t mess around.

So the subject of Abe’s clumsy wrath doesn’t die even with a bullet to the face. The two fight, badly, and just when you think evil vampire is going to kill Abe and that the movie was a grossly historically inaccurate waste of money (as opposed to slightly historically inaccurate), a new character comes out of nowhere and throws the vampire around a bit until he runs away to make a significant appearance later in the film.

Henry Sturgess, is the name of this hero. And he hunts vampires. After a speech from Abe about why Henry should train him to hunt vampires too, Henry agrees as long as he does everything he tells him to and doesn’t seek revenge on his own. *snort* Yeah right. Anyway, Abe gets a silver-tipped axe, his ass kicked in training, and some words of wisdom from this mysterious friend. The axe has to be the most kick-ass vampire hunting weapon I’ve never thought of. An axe. Who knew? Not only does it account for the gratuitous use of graphic violence (skip the popcorn for this movie folks), but it’s damn sexy!

Abe is a total dork. He’s tall and lanky and looks nothing like a hero. But when he wields that axe like some kind of…lumberjack ninja…phew! Get a fan, ladies. Well, that’s if you don’t mind the blood spraying from chopped limbs, crunching of skulls, heads sliding off necks, and other gruesome footage. But admittedly, I’m a little bit twisted.

The movie is highly stylized – which is a fancy way of saying there were a lot of slow motion parts and unique camera angles. Basically, the “cool factor.” I don’t know if that’s good or bad for you but most guys seem to like it so I thought it deserved a fair mention.

We meet a couple historical figures. Abe’s wife, Mary Todd. Somebody Douglas, a pro-slavery politician who helps start the Civil War. And Abe himself, who’s character stayed pretty true to history. He studies law while working as a clerk and he’s passionate about abolishing slavery. Except for the slicing heads of vampires at night (which has yet to be verified), it’s pretty accurate.

Here’s what’s really cool about this movie. I’m not a history buff. In fact, I’m the opposite of a history buff. If you tell me a historical fact I’m like “Ack! Don’t say any more! You’ll take up valuable space in my brain for important things like pop song lyrics and commercial jingles.” But this movie makes history cool. And it’s not just the fuck-yeah-for-spewing-brains cool. But it gives the backdrop for Abe’s inspiration in signing the Emancipation Proclamation, as well as other historical significant things like the Underground Railroad and some of his famous speeches.

The middle slogged a bit as he traded in his vampire-whooping axe to start a family and use the power of words to change the world. There were some profound moments of inspiration as well. “Power doesn’t come from hate. It comes from truth.” Or some shit that makes you stop and think, “wow. I’ve never thought of that before,” then gaze up at the sky and wonder if there really is a God and if so what does he think of the TomKat break up. But in all seriousness, what we’re given in this movie is a symbolic look at the destruction of evil and the beginning of a legacy. As Lincoln says to Henry, “Vampires aren’t the only things that live forever.”

So…a history lesson, over the top violence, and food for thought. This movie was the whole package!


The final showdown between vampires and human, pro-slavery and anti-slavery, was by far the coolest thing I’ve seen in a long time. Abraham Lincoln kicking vampire ass on top of a moving freight train with his trusty axe at age fifty. Fifty! It’s one thing for a spry man in his twenties to fight immortals, but a middle-aged politician? Now that’s bad ass.

Bottom line: If you love history and the thought of anyone taking a few liberties with it makes your eyes twitch or if vampire brains exploding from skulls makes you queasy, this probably isn’t the movie for you. But if you like drama that isn’t boring, being tricked into learning, and gratuitous bloodshed, grab some popcorn and 3-D glasses and enjoy!

As for me, I give it two thumbs up!

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday!

I'm finally writing again!!!!

Took a long time off (too long) and I'm finally back! So I have a brand new snippet to show you from a brand new WIP (work in progress).

So here's my SSS - be nice, it's still a baby ;)

His colleagues whispered “soulless” behind his back. What was a soul anyway but a fanciful notion?

Maddox Blackwell stayed outside the room. Inside, he was Ink Man. Head of Marwolaeth Du, Fortress of Night. And he knew no mercy.

He opened the door to the room and his world rocked.

Friday, July 13, 2012

BDSM Blog Hop and Giveaway!!!!

Welcome to the Paranormal G-spot!

For the BDSM hop I'm giving away an e-copy of my new contemp erotic romance (with BDSM elements) 31 Flavors of Kink!!! This is open internationally and all you have to do is enter the rafflecopter below!

I've got a cute, sexy excerpt from the book to share with you too! Did you know this is based on a true story? It's been called "heartbreaking, sad, laugh out loud funny, and quirky..." by many readers and reviewers. It's a great book if you're curious about BDSM or if you just like a sexy but funny and emotional story. 

Good luck and enjoy the rest of the hop!!!

With a growl he rises and topples me sideways. “Get undressed. I’ll be back. With ropes.”

This is the Nick I’ve been praying for and the first time he’s taken the initiative with sex and bondage. But I can’t resist making a suggestion. A certain book cover calls me.

“Can I show you something?”

He stops on his way toward our closet and waits. The Kindle’s on the bedside table. If I hesitate, I’ll never do this. My courage is leaking away. I turn it on and find the right book with the erotic cover I’ve been lusting after, then slide across the bed to show him.

“This.” I point to the picture of the woman lying on her stomach, hog-tied like some kind of prized heifer. It makes me nervous as well as aroused.

Silence. Then a second later, “You sure? Looks…uhh…not very comfortable.”

“That’s nothing. You should see Shibari.”

“The sushi place?”

“No. Japanese rope bondage. I’ll show you later. So? Do you have enough neckties for this one?”

He sucks in air through his teeth. “No, but I can manage. This looks hot. And I always wanted to turn you into a pretzel.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, just try to remember which way my limbs bend, will you?”

He just points at the bed and grins. “Get naked.”

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Cocked and Loaded Blog Hop Winner!!!

Thanks everybody for making the Cocked and Loaded Blog Hop such a success!!!! Great comments and lots of entries! I'm glad you enjoyed my book addict post. I am guilty of each of those too. Lol. So here is the winner of the $5 GC and my backlist of e-books.


I'll be in touch soon!

Remember to come back for fun posts, updates, and more hops this summer!!!!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

True Blood Recap Season 5, Episode 5

Last week we left off with drunk Snookie – I mean, Sookie – swapping spit with Alcide and that’s where we pick up episode five. Finally, Alcide takes his freakin’ shirt off! The two make their way into the bedroom in rush of unbridled passion and just when you think you’ll be treated to a hot love scene, Sookie pukes on Alcide’s shoes. Good one Sook. Now every woman in America hates you, if they didn’t already.

Lafayette is getting pretty damn tired of this horned demon using him to play nasty pranks. So in a fit of frustrated desperation, he prays to religious figurines. Only instead of giving him hope and protection, they start doing the mambo. Or something. Not quite sure. Anyway, the point is clear. Lafayette is tripping on Santeria. Then he talks to Jesus (no, not that Jesus) – who’s body is still missing yet no one seems the least bit disturbed by this – but hey, this is Bon Temp. And in Bon Temp, whether you got psycho vampires bent on draining your blood or you accidentally killed your boyfriend while possessed by a ghost, you show up for work at Merlotte’s and pretend like nothing happened.

So Terry and Patrick’s strange military subplot finally makes sense and is worth putting in the recap. Down in Bunker Disturbia, one of their squad members goes berserk, spouting about a fire monster that killed his friends and is coming after him. Terry has a flashback to the night they killed the village of innocent people in Iraq. One of the victims was a woman who put a curse on them that Ifrit – a fire demon? – would kill everyone they love. Now poor Terry has a fire monster that wants revenge and a creepy possessed baby. He gots some issues.

Last week Jason and Andy got blasted with fairy light. This week, Jason starts off in a dream. He’s wearing super hero pajamas, which is disturbing enough on a well-built hunk of a man, then has breakfast with his parents and little Sookie. Sad music plays in the background – the same song they use when Sookie is sad or thinking about her grandma –and that tells us this is an emotional scene and we should all say “awww…”  Jason is more than happy to be a kid again, eating his Captain Crunch in his silly pajamas until fang marks appear on his parent’s necks and blood seeps out of them. Jason wakes up, a little disturbed, and naked in his house.

Andy wakes up the same way – naked on Terry and Arlene’s couch where Arlene gets an eyeful. Both of them get called out to where Sam’s shifter friends died. With the shoddy police department they have in Bon Temp and the evolving encyclopedia of supernaturals, I doubt this mystery will get solved any time soon.

Eric, Bill, Alcide, and Sookie have a pow wow at Sookie’s house to figure out how to find Russell Edgington. The boys don’t get along. Big surprise there. Just whip it out guys and measure them, okay? Save us all the trouble. *rolls eyes then realizes exactly what I said and drools* Anyway, Eric and Bill are all like, “It’s Alcide’s fault” and Alcide’s all like “growl, growl, growl” And Leia’s all like, “Mm-hm, your growl don’t scare me wolf boy. Come on over here so I can pet you.” Then Sookie does the female version of cock blocking me with a rather humorous mental breakdown where she says the best line of the episode, “A three thousand year old vampire wants to suck my blood. Must be Thursday!”

Pam’s delicate way of mentoring had Tara drinking a woman’s blood last week. This week she’s bartending at Fangtasia. Tara’s looking hot in a purple and black corset number that makes Pam arch an eyebrow and just when I was thinking they might have a lesbian moment, Pam has her slammed up against the wall with a hand on her throat. No, not in a I-want-you-so-bad-I-can’t-wait-any-longer way. But in a if-you-drink-from-a-human-in-my-club-I’ll-kill-you way. Fleeting lesbian moment over. But you never know. Pam’s unpredictable and Tara’s the wildcard.

Nora’s still being tortured by the Authority for her involvement with the Sanguinists. There better be something to this subplot cause the endless torture is getting old. Screaming, moaning, begging, UV lights, silver in the blood, blah blah blah. We felt bad for her at first. Now we’re just immune to it. Just die already! Nora better morph into some kind of goddess or a dragon or something cool and go all bat shit crazy on the Authority. Just sayin’.

Bill gets a phone call from the techie chick who put on their instant death harnesses. She tells him, basically, the harnesses will engage if they don’t find Russell Edgington by dawn and “and thank you for working with the Authority for all your stake-to-the-heart needs.” If you want to stay alive so you can pretend not to love Sookie anymore, you have to complete this impossible task. Soooo predictable!

Jason is having an identity crisis since learning his parents were killed by vampires and not drowned in a flash flood like he’d been told. Unfortunately, there’s not much identity for him to crisis about. He’s the most simple-minded television character I’ve ever seen. Except maybe Joey from Friends.  Anyway, his cute little version of a mental breakdown is seeing his dead parents everywhere – like the shifter bodies he’s now investigating the murder of. Unbalanced, jacked-up people in positions of authority – just another reason to cross out Bon Temp as a vacation destination.

Jessica watches Pam’s rough treatment of Tara and decides to have a little girl bonding talk. She wants to be girlfriends and wins her over to vampirism by talking up “feeding and fucking at the same time.” So precious. Anyway, their adorable little relationship lasts approximately twenty seconds then Jessica finds Tara feeding on Hoyt in the joke of a restroom at Fangtasia and goes all jealous ex-girlfriend bitch on her.

Sookie heads to the construction zone where they buried Russell Edgington, her boys on leashes behind her. The construction worker had been glamoured so he had no memory of digging up Russell Edgington. But Sookie, via telepathy, can access his memories even when he can’t. So she taps into his mind which directs them to this old, abandoned factory that reeks of evil and violence and horror and spider webs and probably clowns wielding knives. Eric and Bill suggest they split up and leave Sookie behind. Apparently Sookie ain’t taking shit this week cause she lays it down – “Splitting up in the Factory of Doom? Way to be horror movie cliché! You deserve to die just for suggesting it. And I’m the one with the microwave fingers and magical vagina so how ‘bout you let me do my thing, bitches!” Something like that. I may have taken a few liberties.

Lafayette wakes up in the middle of the night to see Jesus’ decapitated head on his nightstand with his mouth sewn shut. Then his mother – remember her from a couple seasons ago? – wakes up to the same thing. While Lafayette’s reaction is “what the fuck?” hers is, “not this again.” Like me, many fans were confused by this scene. But whatever. I’m happy Jesus is on the show this season. I just hope his body finds its way into the episodes too.

Sam visits Luna to tell her about their shifter friends being murdered. They have a good cry and just when I’m hopeful their relationship is on the mend, some jackasses wearing masks shoot them both in the front yard. Luna is dead – you can tell that by her lifeless eyes and sad music. Sam, I think might pull through. So fucking sad! I loved Luna and Sam. The poor guy finally catches a break only to have it slip through his fingers only halfway through season five. Little Emma shifts into a puppy after seeing her mom shot and runs away. My prediction is that Sam lives then raises Emma. Marriage material, that man is.

After Sookie, Alcide, Eric, Bill, and construction worker guy make their way through the Haunted Factory, slowly while suspenseful music plays in the background, they finally find Russell Edgington looking a little pale and sickly on a cot. Eric approaches him with fangs drawn and a stake in hand. Please Eric. No dramatic speeches. Just finish the job you fucked up the first time!

Just when you think this will be the easiest assassination in the history of television, Alcide growls then disappears. Everyone turns to look at him. Then the episode ends.

From the previews, next week is looking to be a fantastic episode. Roman (the Guardian’s real name) and Russell face off. I’m very excited for this. Evil psychotic villain versus maybe evil slightly less psychotic villain. Who do you want to win?

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday!

Curious about BDSM and kinky sex outside of the fictional fantasy? Today's snippet is from my new BDSM erotic romance 31 Flavors of Kink, based on a true story!!! It just released last week from Loose ID (but is exclusively available on their website until July 17th - then it will be available for all e-readers and on ARe.). Enjoy!

When he lifts the belt, I blurt, “Is that to tie me up or spank me?” I mentally smack my forehead, hard. I can’t believe I just said that.

His brow furrows as he processes my words. He looks at the belt, then back to me. His lips curl at the corners. “Both.”

I think I might faint.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Cocked and Loaded Blog Hop!!!

Happy Independence Day and welcome to the Cocked and Loaded Blog Hop!!!

The prize for this blog hop is open Internationally and includes a $5 amazon or B&N gift card AND an e-copy of my third paranormal romance, Destiny Unchained. Just fill out the rafflecopter below to enter my giveaway and leave a comment about your book addiction to win one of the grand prizes detailed here

You know you’re a book addict when…

Your kids have ripped jeans and their shoes are too small but you have plenty of books on your e-reader.

It’s not unusual to find drool on your kindle in the morning.

If you totaled the amount you’ve spent on books in the last year, it’d be equal to or more than your mortgage payment.

Clicking the “buy now” button gives you a rush like a druggie getting their next fix.

Your e-reader gets more action than your partner.

Your kid’s first word was “kindle.”

You have a panic attack when your TBR pile gets low (by low I mean less than 20 books).

You catch yourself saying, “Oh that same thing happened to my friend Julie,” then freeze when you remember Julie is a fictional character in a book.

Your kids know if they touch mommy’s Nook her forehead gets all veiny.

You ask for gift cards (to Amazon, B&N, etc) for every holiday including your kid’s birthdays.

The countdown to a new release is more exciting than the countdown to the New Year.

You start reading a book then look up and realize it’s been hours and you’ve forgotten to cook dinner for your family. Oh and you’re still wearing your pajamas and haven’t peed all day.

Your e-reader is like your Mastercard – it’s everywhere you want to be.

You justify a new book purchase with excuses like “It’s on sale!” “I had a bad day!” and “It’s Tuesday.”

You can stop anytime. No really, you can.

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Monday, July 2, 2012

True Blood Season 5, episode 4 Recap

So last episode ended with Tara doing the classic fry your skin off vampire suicide technique and Pam rolling her eyes from across town. At the end we’re left wondering, will Pam save her or leave her to die a horrible, mushy death? Well, she saves her, rolling her eyes at her idiocy, as I was too. Tara, all crispified begs her to let her die. Pam commands her not to commit vampire suicide anymore. Then there’s some lovely footage of flesh sliding off bone when Pam grabs her arm to help her out of the fryer. Just before dinner too. Yum.

Lafayette is mad at Sookie cause she told Alcide about them killing Debbie. He tells her off, calling her the Angel of Death. He needs Jesus back. He’s all kinds of uptight this season. Chillax, homeslice. All she did was shoot a person in the head then have your cousin turned into her worst nightmare then tell a werewolf that Lafayette aided and abetted a federal crime. This is Bon Temp. That’s a slap on the wrist offense by the often high and awkward Sheriff. Ain’t no reason to let the monster out. But he does. That rascally Mexican brujo takes over Lafayette again and he lifts Sookie’s car while chanting in Spanish.  What big mental muscles you have, granny monster.

Last week we saw the Guardian sleep with the lady who has a thing for Nora. Finally figured out her name. Salome. So they’re laying in bed with his laptop, listening to the sounds of Nora screaming in agony. What a kind heart you have, dear Guardian. Nothing like a little torture to get a vampire in the mood.

Sookie has pity party cause, you know all her friends hate her – her best friend especially, who wants to drain every last drop of blood from her lifeless body. Pu-lease! As if that’s a reason to be sad. My best friend bit me once then said I tasted like saltines and spit in the grass. Of course, I was five but it still cut me deep. And do you think I cried and felt bad for myself? No. I punched her in the face! Anyway, the only way to make her breakdown even stupider is to involve Jason. And that’s exactly what she does.  She confesses to killing Debbie and tells him to lock her up. “Oh, by the way, Tara’s a vampire and hates my stinkin’ guts.” And Jason, being the superb officer he is, basically puts his fingers in his ears and says “la la la.” Great fucking work there, officer.

Eric is back! To Fangtasia anyway. And looking all commanding and badass sitting in his throne – very reminiscent of the first season only without the long hair, thank God. Pam walks in with Tara, shocked but pleased to see him. The shock turns to discomfort when Eric asks about Tara. Then she explains, awkwardly, that she made a progeny while he’s been away – a pissed off, barely sane one at that. Oh yes, you’ve been busy, Pam.

Tara and Bill leave the room and have a heart-to-heart. Tara spills her feelings about Sookie, “how many people died to save her sorry ass?” That’s it, Tara. Don’t hold back now. Bill gets his, typical love-sick look of regret on his face. And I can’t help but feel slightly sorry for Sookie, who seems to be the scapegoat for everything wrong in Bon Temp. By the end of the season, she’ll have been responsible for the recession too.

While Bill and Tara reminisce about their past love of the fairy princess, Eric is questioning Pam about Russell Edgington. Apparently she’s one of only four who knew where he was buried. Eric is being a bit of a dick. Pam is and has always been so loyal to him it makes me a bit uncomfortable. He’s her one vulnerability. The one attachment that keeps her sort of, kind of human. And now she challenges him to release her from their maker/progeny bond.

Then we cut to the Authority counsel talking smack about the Guardian behind his back after acting all reverent to his face. Typical politicians. That's all i have say about that.

In episode one, I think it was, Andy let the judge’s son out of a speeding ticket. Now he’s being schmoozed by him. Anyone else smell trouble from this asshole? Yeah, me too. So Jason, Andy, and the judge get into a limo with three slutty women who place hoods over their heads. The judge laughs and reassures Andy and Jason that everything is fine – they’re going to a secret club and no one can know the location. Uh-huh. And is this “secret club” in some gritty back-alley and are the “VIP guests” slaughtered and drained of blood? My warning bells are going off. But apparently everyone in Bon Temp is stupid because all it takes is a pretty woman to distract from the obvious pitfall of danger. But then again, this is Jason and Andy we’re talking about here.

Remember the Shifter’s Anonymous group Sam was in last season, where he met Luna? Well two members show up at his bar and convince him to go out running with them again. Later that night, he approaches their hang out. It’s dark. The two are sitting in lawn chairs facing away from him, their silhouettes lit up by a glowing fire. Eerie music plays in the background. No one is moving. Can you guess what happens? The music was a dead giveaway. Both shifters are dead. And that about ends that plot line for this week.

Then Alcide tells Debbie’s parents that Marcus, the now-dead pack alpha, killed Debbie. *Rolls eyes* There goes everyone protecting the fairy princess again.

Terry and Patrick, the sergeant from when they served together in Iraq, are driving through South Dakota, hunting down a veteran Patrick suspects to be a bit cracked. Terry has a war flashback, proving he’s the one who’s cracked, not that anyone cares. He’s still allowed around small children – speaking of which, where’s the possessed baby!? In the flashback, the soldiers get high and drunk and party Arab style in the desert until an innocent bystander tries to talk with one of the trigger-happy guys. Next thing you know, they’ve all gone postal on a village of innocent people. Terry stares down at a pile of bodies and a river of blood. No wonder he’s messed up in the head.

Anyway, they find an underground bunker they think belongs to their friend and inside are lots of paintings. Dark ones. Yeah, maybe you could stretch it and say they have a one-step-away-from-insanity theme going on. But really, isn’t there a saying about judging men by their paintings? No? Well, there should be.

Lafayette’s little magic trick with the car ended up cutting Sookie’s breaks and she jumps out just before it slams into a tree. Then she continues her downward spiral at home alone, mixing strong alcohol that I’m not sure isn’t lethal. But can you really blame her? People keep dying in her kitchen. Some she kills. Some jump in front of bullets for her then turn into vampires while she inspires their seething hatred forever. It’s a rough life for Sookie Stackhouse. Drink on, Sookie. Maybe you’ll do everyone a favor and die of alcohol poisoning.  

Pam and Tara wake up after being tucked in nice and cozy in matching coffins in the creepy basement they tortured Lafayette in seasons ago – back when Eric was the bad guy. Ah, those were the days. So Eric explains to a teary-eyed Pam that he does care about her, enough to set her free. He knows he’s a walking dead man. Er, even deader now that the Guardian has him in his sights. As long as Pam stays alive, he keeps his vampire line strong. What? Even vampires can be touchy-feely sometimes. So we get a glimpse into Pam and Eric’s special bond – more like a fatherly relationship than romantic. Then we get the obligatory speech about taking care of her progeny. Blah blah blah. Cause they can’t kill off Tara after just having made her undead. This isn’t Game of Thrones, you know.

Jessica and Bill have a tender moment too. Apparently this is the season of the makers. Everyone’s all sweet and reminiscent. Maybe because they know they have a limited amount of time left before the Authority realizes they’re full of bullshit about hunting down Russell and will fuck it up sooner or later. Jessica tries to convince Bill to see Sookie because “she’s had a rough couple days.” Ha! That is the understatement of the season.

So Nora’s been tortured for a long time now, since episode two. She’s ready to die. I would be too. There’s only so much silver in my blood I can take before life just gets to be a bitch. The Guardian questions her in a very intimidating and dramatic way and she laughs, a bit hysterically, and tells him to “fuck off.” It was quite amusing and clenched my decision to be on Team Nora for a while. When he finally threatens to kill Eric with an iphone app – you can get one too for only 99 cents! – she caves and gives them a name.

The three slutty, giggly women who have Andy, Jason, and the Judge take them, still hooded, into a meadow where they open the door to an invisible club. Inside are exotic dancers of every type, music, drinking, partying, half-dressed men and women – every man’s dream. Oh come on guys! Middle-aged men do not get invited to sexy clubs by gorgeous women!  *shakes head* They’d believe anything if it fed a fantasy like that. So Andy runs into the fairy he dry-humped in the grass at the end of last season and Jason finds Hadley, his cousin and former feeder of the Queen of Mississippi.  Back to that in a few.

Sookie is drunk off her ass, smiling, laughing, and singing. Hilarious! I like her so much better drunk. Can she just stay that way for the rest of the season? Lafayette calls after finding her car wrapped around a tree and realizing it was the Mexican monster inside him. But he doesn’t get the chance to apologize for almost killing her cause Alcide shows up to explain his cover story to Debbie’s parents – someone else saving her sorry ass from more trouble. Since Sookie is so cute when she’s drunk – and clever switching up song lyrics to fit her situation – Alcide forgives her then kisses her. If that’s what it takes to win your heart Alcide – a perky smile and half-decent singing – maybe we don’t have a future together. *Walks off and stalks Eric instead*

So Pam takes the maker thing to heart. She forces Tara into eating a sexy lady, both of them fighting the whole way. I like how this dynamic is turning out. Since Tara went lesbian anyway, maybe her and Pam – no. *laughing* No. Too much of a stretch.

The Guardian and counsel meet with the name of the traitor Nora gave. It’s someone in the counsel, he tells us. Then he proceeds to drag out the unveiling of the betrayer longer than Ryan Seacrest does in naming the American Idol winner. Suddenly, the Guardian grabs the kid vampire – who was turning into a little asshole anyway – and stakes him. Then, with blood splattered all over his face, he gives a speech about dealing with traitors. Bravo, Guardian, bravo. I bow down to your superior use of dramatics. And producers, to your gratuitous use of splattering gore.

Back to Club No-Good-Can-Come-of-This in Fairyland. Hadley slips about Jason’s parents being drained by vampires, not drowning in a flood. He flips out and tries to question her but fairy bouncers kick him and Andy out. We end the episode with them laying on the grass and two fairies shooting beams of light toward them.
So, what’s up for next week? According to the previews, looks like a rockin’ episode. Can’t wait!

Angels Vs Demons WINNER!!!!

I'm overwhelmed with the response for the Angels vs Demons blog hop and I had so much fun! I hope you did too. There were some spectacular posts about favorite books, characters, and some smoking hot photos!

Anyway, here's the winner of the $10 gift card from my blog.

Donna Simmonds

Congrats Donna and thanks for participating. I'll be in touch soon!

Everyone else, thank you for coming by and hope to see you again soon. Check my left hand column for more hops with great prizes coming soon!